I am a survivor

I am a survivor, that is what I tell my self today. This is part of reprogramming. I have been on a path much like brain washing. I repeat to my self. I am happy. I am going to make this day a good one.
I make myself, every day. Read, write, create images.
I need to learn something new every day to make my day go by, with out self pity. With out thoughts of. I want out of this life! I have had enough! My heart is hard. My love is gone, Where is the passion I had for nature.  Why do I not care what happens any more? I am in limbo.
Why do I have the fear to  ? etc

In the past I relived tragedy and trauma over and over. My live was T& T. I became T&T. I said things like I have a cloud hanging over my head. With lightning bolts hitting me in the but. I hear from my spouse.  If it were not for bad luck I would not have any luck.

I had a discussion with my youngest daughter a few weeks ago. In were we discussed her situation. I made her tell me the main reason for all the trouble she is in.  We made a list.
1. Drug & alcahol
2. Conning people. She was coned and she did the same to others.
3. Brains. thought. Making a choice.

Choice should have been # 1 because she chose to be a part of all that has happened.

We all have the power to change our life.
No one ever told me. Or I was to stupid to figure it out in the past. Because. I was too busy trying to survive obstacles. And making them part of my life. That I could chose to change.
Changing your thoughts, changes your life.