Living life blind and numb

I feel like I have only recently woke up.
It was like I went through my life blind and numb.
I look back and see I lived with out being fully present at times. I went through the action of movement.  It was as if I were on autopilot.  Going through the day with no real control.With out any thought of being. With out knowledge of who I am. Or who I wanted to be. What is my purpose ? I was like a robot. As in do what you are programed to do.

I am thankful that I do not have the life of a person treated as inferior. I am the one to make all choices and decisions, in my life. I feel the impact, as not all choices were the right ones. But I am grateful to have this right.

I had a lack of feeling things with passion and not realizing every aspect at the time.
The reason I say I did not feel then, is now I have felt passion. I know what joy feels like. It is found in so many things. To really open your eyes and look at the sky, to see the brilliant colors of red and purple sunsets. To feel them. To feel and Sense kindness. To feel and see passion in words. In a smile. To know there is more to life than depression.